a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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