What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Guest what in the butt

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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This is an anti-joke.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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