how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

why did the blue berry cross the road

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

who is really lanky? james cornish

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

autistic kids rock

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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