A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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