whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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