Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Cheese

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops