What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops