What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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