Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

thumb_up thumb_down -12

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops