A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Take part of what?

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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