What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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