A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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The New York Giants

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops