This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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