A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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