When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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