Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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