'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops