GOODBYE

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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