What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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