how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Refridgerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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