What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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I? Everett

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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