Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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