Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops