You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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