What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Golf.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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David Cameron

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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