Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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