What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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