Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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