What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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