what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

What's 9+10? 19

Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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