Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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I'm so punny.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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