What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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A dog was barking at a tree

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops