A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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