Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Death by kayak

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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