Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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