Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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