Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

why are black people so fast? because there black

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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