Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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sky silverstein

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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woman's rights

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops