so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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