Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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