What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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i dont fisish anythi

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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