What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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