What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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