Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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autistic kids rock

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops