roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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