Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Why? Because.

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What is my name? I dont know

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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haha

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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