Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops