Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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My cat just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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