What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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