Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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