Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

All of these jokes are about white people

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops