Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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