what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

The chickens have become self-aware!

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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