If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops