Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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women's rights

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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