Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops