What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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