Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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The child was fired from his job.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Guess what What

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops