How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

Men's rights

why dont they make black forks

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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