What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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