Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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