Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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