Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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a irish man walks past a bar

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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