how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops