Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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