How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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24

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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