What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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