When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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